Furious Fiction submission – November 2024 (fantasy)

My notes on this flash fiction competition:

It’s been a while since I entered this comp (6 months, if not more), but I was really pleased with how this story came out! For those unaware, this competition is run by the Australian Writers Centre at the beginning of every month. They provide criteria you must stick to in 500 words or less. For this story, I went a bit magical and mythical. It’s pacey and intense, I hope you enjoy!

The criteria were:

Your story must include a character who arrives somewhere LATE.
Your story’s first sentence must contain only four words.
Your story must include the words SKIP, KICK, BLUE and DISAPPEAR. (Longer variations, e.g. “kicking” or “skipped” are acceptable.)

White Orchids in the Night

By Jess Knaus

It had already happened. Saiorse stood wide-eyed, condensation pouring from her mouth from running, staring down at the magical smoke that cloaked the remains of her village. Her shoulders rose and fell heavily, and hot tears formed in the corners of her deep blue eyes. She wished them dead, whoever had done this. A rage overcame her and she kicked a nearby rock, watching it fly down the hill at her feet.

Sadness drew her down the hill, her body coiling in grief and despair. She was drawn to her family’s home, towards the pathways she had skipped as a child and the familiar hay rooftop, now black and tarnished by fire. All was quiet, for none had decided to stay knowing the rioters were coming. She fell to her knees in front of her old home, and punched the ground—if only she had been here just hours before. She rubbed her sore hand, allowing the warmth of an incantation to rise to her fingers. With a gentle twirl of her arms she produced a single white orchid from the soil.

Once she gained some strength her mind became focused. She observed the hills surrounding the valley, considered the roads and set her mind on the direction the rioters would have taken. Deciding on the southern road she stood up and lifted her feet into a running pace once more. On reaching the final rolling hill she looked back at the village, its image now tarnished in her memory.

For several hours she ran, the sun falling behind the hills as she moved. Then a subtle drift of campfire smoke caught in her throat and there, up on a hill, she found them. Sliding quietly into the forest she progressed forward, a spark of magical electricity beginning to warm in the palms of her hands. She leant hard against a tall tree, letting the muffle of the mob’s conversation find clarity on the breeze.

They mostly spoke of their next day’s activities, the villages they would ransack and burn. Magical clans had grown fierce against one another, but this clan seemed fiercer than most. Her parents would likely be hiding safely amongst companions, as villages united to fight the gangsters wandering through the lands. Despite knowing they were safe, however, she was still planning her own revenge.

She inched forward, her palms sweaty. Peering toward the campfire she counted seven of them. Pulling back she rallied her powers, firing up the spells that would end their lives. One, maybe two, would fight back, but they didn’t know she was a trained assassin. Without a glimmer of sound she released the spells, one by one their heads rolled onto their shoulders, one of them standing up and peering into the forest in fear. He too, fell to the ground, dead. Taking gentle steps into their camp she ensured they were dead. Then with a few last steps she disappeared into the darkness.

Thanks for reading this story!

I’m currently working on my debut fantasy and sci-fi novel. If you like what you read here please sign up for updates below to hear when my novel is complete and ready for purchase.

Subscribe below for more stories sent to your inbox: