On the radio waves I heard them say it’s November 20, 1998. Yes, now I remember that the humans catalogue time with strange things called dates, odd creatures aren’t they? They also mentioned something about a rocket, what on earth is a rocket? Oh…that small, fiery little thing I guess. What in the Milky Way are they doing? There must be some kind of mistake. This is my backyard! Can’t they see space belongs to me? I am a Spacelord, after all. Why can’t they leave me be? Don’t make me chase you out of my space dust field, you pesky humans!

Well, this situation just became more baffling. Not only did little bits of their rocket fall off, messing up my view, now they’ve begun building something! It’s big too. The audacity! That’s it! I’ve had enough! Thieves. Cheats. Scoundrels. Let me see the writing on the side there…’International Space Station’…well, blimey they could have been a bit more inspiring. Dull creatures, humans. No imagination. 

That’s it, I’m calling Asteroid.

ring ring, ring ring

Oh c’mon, pick up the phone.

ring ring, phone is answered

Asteroid, is that you?…yes ok, sorry but I have a rather pressing matter in my backyard. You see, the humans have built a contraption, something to live in I’m assuming. I believe they’re attempting to become squatters. I won’t have it, you hear? I’ll give you fifteen moon rocks to do your work, how does that sound?… fine, twenty it is. Can you come in the next five minutes?… excellent, cheerio!

Sigh, suddenly I feel a whole lot better about this situation. Asteroid is excellent at his work, I have no doubt he’ll sort out the matter. Oh, look here he comes now. Bye bye little humans, sorry about the impending asteroids but you know, you did trespass and rules are rules. Ta ta!